a new tune

Been going through some stuff & was talking to a wise friend.  I asked, "So what do I DO.  No, REALLY.  What do I do?"

She suggested starting with feeling whatever I was feeling - starting with anger (because not feeling it only leads to physical ailment - literally).  And then she said something profound.  She said, "I know you need to feel the anger, but anger won't bring healing.  So once you're done feeling the anger, I know gratitude is a healing emotion."

So simple - but HUGE.  It got me thinking.  And it got me in a different space - a space of gratitude.  So (in amongst my bouts of anger) I recognized a bunch of things I'm grateful for & started taking note.

And I got a new tune (literally - well, actually it's a really old one that I haven't listened to in awhile).  I highly recommend it: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0EbObTnmIoA

Happy listening to my new tune.

even the hummingbirds

It's 106 degrees (and it's only 2pm - which means it'll get even hotter) and it's Sept. 27th!!!  Even the hummingbirds are feelin' it.

We have a couple of hummingbird feeders with nectar that I refill regularly - and they usually spend anywhere between 2-10 seconds drinking before flying away.  Today - 3 MINUTES!  The poor little guys are just sitting there . . . not even moving.  Just beaks open, gasping for air.

And you wouldn't believe it . . . the squirrel was sprawled out on the lawn!  Seriously, NEVER seen that before.

And just so happens that our car is in the shop (yep - air conditioner's broken again) . . . so what's a girl to do?

• cleaned the hall closet
• cleaned out daughter's room
• got a load for goodwill
• scrubbed the bathrooms down
• made lunch from scratch (without turning the oven on!)

If ya can't be cool outside, at least the inside can be clean.  Thank the good Lord for AC in the house!!!

heart & soul

About two years ago, I set out to make some new friends.  I realized that I needed a different kind of friend, but wasn't entirely sure how to go about it - just knew it needed to happen.

I've intentionally spent time with women who I admire & respect - particularly women who can understand the unrelenting responsibility of raising a child while trying to be a loving wife (and not lose your mind).

Yesterday, one of the newer friends that I cherish the most told me something I will never forget.  She said, "I am with you - heart & soul."  Honestly, I was so blown away that I didn't really have words in the moment.  It was the most amazing gift to have someone who I love so dearly say that to me so intentionally & boldly. 

You know who you are, and I am with you heart & soul as well . . .

new day

On Tuesday I wrote that I was SOOOO very "over it."  I didn't have words most of the week . . . too sad to even speak about it . . . and cancelled most plans (save dancing - where I don't have to talk).  I have been waiting a VERY long time for a few things & have grown weary of waiting . . . and of disappointment.

And this morning, I awoke - with a new tune.  Fierce head cold is mostly gone, and the hope of some good things on the horizon.  Glad for a new day . . . and for the people who love me (even on the "over it" days).

over it

I am so over it today.  ALL of it.  And by "it" I mean disappointment.  Soooooo very over it!

full circle

Approximately 16 years ago, I started volunteering in South Minneapolis - with kids.  During my first visit (on a crowded school van, full of eager college students) I fell in love with the city. 

Me & godsons back in 2001

Having grown up a suburban kid, I didn't really have much exposure to urban life.  So the first time I went, I was enthralled by the activity, the sheer volume of people & the openness of the children.  I was hooked.

During college, I volunteered for 2 years & lead lots of groups down to the city.  Then after graduation, I moved into the neighborhood & lived there for 5 years.  There I met my godsons, learned many lessons, was mentored by people of various ethnicities & fell in love. 



Godsons Now (well, last year)



So last night (16 years later) I still find myself in love with the city, but with a whole new twist.  My daughter is now one of the kids in the neighborhood.  And the neighbors are her friends.  They still come over & play.  I still make them snacks.  And I still enjoy sitting outside watching all of the activity.  I love it even more now . . . and I loved it a lot back then, so that's a lotta love!

All of my kids - last summer

tacos & salsa

Last night I was reminded of the goodness of community & friends. 

After dancing, sweating, spinning & dipping our way to sheer exhaustion, we (as we often do) headed down the corner to the taco shop for some post-dancing tacos (or in my case, sopes :-) & chatting.

Around this table alone are people ranging in age from mid 30's to mid 60's.   Then you've got Armenian, Mexican, Greek, African American, Native American, Caucasian & Central American - oh, and don't forget Japanese!  I'm always proud of the richness of our group.

I simply love my salsa friends.

ponderings

Ponderings.  Is that even a word?  I've been doing a lot of pondering . . . and here is one of them:

So what's up with faith & miracles, healing & belief?  I've been reading a book that's been challenging me BIG TIME.  It's called The Supernatural Power of a Transformed Mind.  If you've grown up in the church, but haven't seen the power of God the way you have an incling that might actually be available to us, read this one.

I've been really challenged by well over 90% of it, so something's clicking.  But it's all so new to me.  And on the one hand, there's a part of me that says, "Eh, just a bunch of hooey" (cuz that what I grew up hearing & believing about miracles).  Then there's another part of me that absolutely believes that it's true & that I'm the one standing in the way.

I'm gonna keep reading . . .

drivel

With the change of seasons has come a significant transition in schedule for us.  Gone are days of extended afternoons & evenings with Dan at home . . . and friends are back in school.  So that means we (the girls) have to find other people to play with & other things to do.

I've found there are some real upsides . . . like more time to ponder life.  I've also gotten lots of little things done around the house (refilled the hummingbird feeders, cleaned up the front of the house, sprayed down the cobweb-covered toys out back, etc.).  We've even done some fun "cooking" together (a funny story later).

But there are some downsides too . . . grumpy mom in the afternoon, not as much personal time as I'd like to do the things that help me thrive, and less energy to connect when Dan does get home.

So I've been making a mental list of things for us/me to do this fall.  Sarah, this one's for you (she's a great list-maker :-).

1. mend a couple of M's dresses (yes, people, I'm going to get out a sewing needle!  watch out!)
2. refill & rehang the bird feeder
3. get details ready for Dan's book signings
4. purge & give stuff away
5. redecorate shoes (the ones that I salsa-fied earlier this spring :-)
6. write a few cards to folks I love
7. figure out our business stuff

Anyway . . . enough of my drivel . . . now for a funny "helper" story . . .

So Mahalia is "helping" me make tuna sandwiches for lunch today & when the mayo bottle makes that sound that only an almost-empty condiment bottle sound can make, she says, "Hey!  That sounds like a toot."  And then laughs.  Ah . . . the simple things!

order away!

Dan's book is here & available for order on our website: www.whitehodge.com

Order away!!!

pihop

So one of the greatest blessings in my life over the last year has been PIHOP (Pasadena International House of Prayer).  It's such a unique place that it's hard to describe. 

I first went to receive prayer about 2 years ago.  I was a sceptic.  I had such overwhelmingly negative experiences within the church that I have to admit that my heart was pretty hard towards the whole thing.  My friend, Mandy, had invited me MANY times, but I always found a reason not to go.  But then I finally broke down & went . . . and the best word I can use to describe the experience is "magical." 

I don't mean magical in the "magic" sense of the word - but in the "wow - that was the COOLEST experience ever" type of way.  It's the kind of thing that's so cool that you almost can't believe it the first time.

Since then, I've gone many times to receive prayer & have also begun serving & praying for others.  If you ever want to be encouraged beyond measure & experience God's love in a "magical" way - come & check us out sometime. 

open hands

Due to scheduling changes, last week marked the end of some of the salsa classes that I teach.  I felt mixed emotions - glad to honor our family's current schedule & make sure priorities remain in tact . . . but sad to end something I enjoy so much.

One thing I've been pressing into, is having an open heart.  I've been working on not holding so tightly to things - being able to let go & receive more freely.  I've also been listening to God in a new way (more about that in another blog).  So I've been a little more "tuned in" lately . . . and heard God tell me to be patient & that new opportunities would come my way.  I was very clear that I was not to pursue things, but that they would just come to me.  Strange, I thought (at least my very hard-working, initiative-taking, German self said).

But within 7 days, three new opportunities have literally come to me.  No initiative on my part - just openness & availability.  Interesting, eh?  Not 100% sure that I'll take every opportunity that comes my way - but good to know that things can come & go more smoothly when I have open hands & an open heart.

Baby Cobin

4 1/2 months ago, I had the honor of watching my friend, Erin's, baby boy being born.  It was amazing to watch the birthing process! 

I've had a special attachment to the little guy every since.  Cobin is such a laid back little guy & when he was a newborn, I had a special knack for rocking him to sleep.  Now he prefers Dan's goofy antics (who can blame him?).

The other day when Mahalia & I were at their house, a little twinge of jealousy struck the older girls & they wanted to all pile on my lap & take turns holding Cobin.  Sometimes I just love a twinge of jealousy :-)

Then a few days later, I took the big girls to the beach.  It was REALLY fun.  We went to Mother's Beach in Long Beach.  I recommend it BIG TIME!  They "boogie-boarded," made sand castles with new friends, and played at the park right next to the beach. 

But the funniest part . . . was the popsicles!

Before . . . . . . . . . . . . and AFTER!