my kids

I have four children.  One is biological.  Three are not.  But all three are mine.  I have loved all four since birth (except the first - didn't meet him until he was four).  It's amazing how a heart can love that which it did not personally grow inside first.

Those of you who have adopted or have godchildren - or who simply love others' children deeply can relate to what I'm saying.  There is something special about children & how our hearts get attached.  Devohn was my first.  Technically he is Marie's.  But he asked me to be his godmother when he was four.  Then came Antonio, my second son.  Then Ma'Jari.  Last came my first daughter.

Eating Chicago Deep Dish Pizza

Everyone got new shoes for Spring Break

Fun at the zoo!

So being our new home & having them together again has been a joy.  My heart is full & I'm deeply grateful for our abiding love over these last 15 years.

every square inch

This week, I had told Mahalia that we were going to be cleaning her room, as it had become an opportunity for broken bones - literally every square inch of the small room had something on it.  It looked like a bomb exploded.  I put it off for a few days, but was planning to get to it yesterday afternoon.

As is our usual custom, she either takes a nap or a quiet rest in the afternoons.  Yesterday, we helped some friends with a project, so didn't get home in time for a nap - so quiet rest time, it was.  Throughout the course of the 60 minutes she was in there, I heard regular banging (nothing big enough to warrant in interruption in my time alone though :-).

So you can imagine my SHOCK when I walked in to see this . . .

I literally couldn't believe my eyes!

When I asked her why she did it, she said, "Because it takes too long when you do it with me, Mom."

Well, bring on the solo cleaning!!!

an hour

Our weekly Friday tradition is to go to Sukhadia's to get the most delicious Indian dessert.  Mahalia & I pick it up, so that when Dan arrives home from work, we eat dessert first - and then dinner :-)  So yesterday, since it was such a gorgeous day, Mahalia & I decided to walk to the restaurant (about a 20 minute walk). 

I thought LA was diverse . . . but the north side of Chicago is a whole other story!  We were gone for an hour, and within that hour, I only saw three other white people (a family walking a dog).  Other than that, we (we'll me, really, since Mahalia is Blaxicasian) were the only Caucasian folks.  It was the coolest feeling - to be surrounded by such incredible, beautiful diversity.

If you know me, you know I LOVE people from other cultures.  There is something so beautiful about the way God expresses himself through people & their way of life.  I find it to be a wealth of adventure & lifelong learning that inspires me & intrigues me to constantly be learning and trying new things.

Our neighborhood is a solid mixture of Indian folks, Jewish folks, and Muslim folks.  There are Qurans, Temples (Hindu & Jewish), and Mosques everywhere. It's remarkable, really.  So many people from such incredibly different backgrounds - all sharing a few square miles together. I'm anxious to re-learn the history I've been taught as a white American & learn more about their culture, so I have an even greater appreciation for my community, for them, and for God's creativity.

wall of fame

My most favorite part of decorating each home Dan & I have shared together, is when the "Wall of Fame" goes up.  This morning, the Wall of Fame finally went up.  It's what you see when you first walk in the front door.

It's how we keep a visual reminder of those we hold dear - especially as we share stories with new friends.  Now that we live in Chicago, most of our beloved are far away, so it's a great reminder of the many who have loved us over the years.  Thank you to each of you who have become family to us.  We cherish you.

our song

This morning commenced the church-hunting expedition.  It's one of my least favorite things about moving to a new city.  But I'm pleased to say that it was actually a good experience.  Some folks invited us to come & we were pleasantly surprised by what we found there.

My favorite moment was when they started singing a song . . . and Mahalia shoots me a HUGE smile & says, "That's OUR song, Mom!"  Little does she remember that was one of the four songs I sang to her multiple times every day when she was first born.  It was one of the four songs I wanted etched into her mind from the beginning . . . and apparently it worked :-)

3 luckys

Today, as we were leaving the Playland (where Mahalia had just played with 3 new friends for over an hour, after she got a sucker from the teller at the bank), and I announced that she didn't have to take a nap (but could do quiet rest time instead), she shouted, "Oh mom!  I've had three luckys today!"

After my last ranting post (yeah, I let it all hang out & sometimes it ain't so pretty people), I sat down & reminded myself that everything was fine & that I needed to chill out.  There are SO many things to be grateful for . . . and I've certainly had more than three luckys myself in the last 24 hours.

I'm amazed at how fickle emotions are (at least mine, anyway).  One of my priorities in this season is to remind myself of truth, regardless of how I feel.  What strikes me is that the luckys come & the unluckys come.  We've all had our share of both.  But what I've learned about the luckys & the unluckys is that both come as a result of grace.  Sometimes our luckys or unluckys come as a result of choices.  But then there are many MANY times, when luck (grace) has it's way in our lives, regardless of choice.  I realize that may sound like heresy to my American (it's all about my choices) mindset, but so much of life is grace - being given in it's many forms.  I tend to prefer the "lucky" form of grace, but I find that God has done some of His best work during the unluckiest of times.

Speaking of undeserved gifts - here is one of the most recent.  Our kitchen is so SO beautiful (& spacious) - it inspires me (even ME, the lame-o cook) to whip up dishes of varying sorts.  It's big enough that we were able to put this beauty in.  It doubles as a work/storage space and table (on the back side).  I still can't believe I call this place home!

letting go

Today I suck at letting go - as in, "let go & let God."  Today I'm frustrated & anxious, and filled with rage for the bazillion things that aren't settled in my world.  Today, I'm freakin' sick of transition.  Isn't 9 months of transition enough?  I just want everything working right NOW!  

I want my cell phone to work in my house.  I want my internet connected.  I want a car door that doesn't fall off every time I open it.  I want my husband to be home to help me.  And I want friends to boot!  Oh - and a babysitter.

And as of tomorrow, I won't have internet for a week.  So the bazillion things that need to get done will take even longer.  UGH.

And YES, I'm giving myself a good "talking to" but it's not working.  I'm telling myself to calm down.  I'm telling myself that there is no emergency.  I'm telling myself to take a deep breath.  And ya know what?!  I don't want to calm down.  I wanna rant & rage . . . and I want to feel better.  But ranting & raving isn't helping (surprise, right?!).

So I guess I'll stop typing & go sit down for a minute.  When . . . oh when will I feel settled? 

on the walls

Well . . . it's official.  We're all moved in!  The beds are assembled, the table is up, the address is changed, the washer & dryer are hooked up (I'm about 8 loads of laundry in), and the pictures are on the walls.

It feels good to be home.  It feels good to have a home.  It's good to have a beautiful home that has more room than I've ever had before.  I'm so thankful for the fresh start.  And I'm incredibly grateful for the many lessons learned, tears cried, and friends made during this last season.  May it spill into this next spring & help usher spring into others' lives.

i went

Hemmed & hawed all evening about going dancing.  At 9:15 I dragged myself out of the house, kicking & screaming (odd, given how much I love it, no?).  Anyhoo - I felt awkward, nervous & just generally non-fabulous about the whole thing.
But then I heard the music outside the door & immediately felt the rhythm stirring inside.  Took off my 3 layers of extra clothes & sat - anxiously awaiting my first Chicago salsa.  Would I remember how to dance?  Would my style fit with the guys' style?  Would my body hold up (I'm WAY out of shape)?  Would anyone even ask me to dance?

Then an older gentleman (which can sometimes turn out to be a TOTAL bust) asked me to dance, and he was . . . drum roll please . . . uh-may-zing!!!  Amazing people!  He rocked it!  I immediately forgot about all my inhibitions & was sucked into the music & the fun.  After the dance, he told me I was a goddess (gotta love such a compliment every now & then - especially when ya feel frumpy). 

And from there it was salsa heaven . . . dance after dance of pure bliss.  I love salsa bliss!