Monday, October 1, 2012

nothing similar

Exactly one year ago, I was living in a basement . . . someone else's basement.  Having moved across the country once & across that city yet again, I was in a job I loathed, working for a boss I who belittled me.  I was depressed . . . more depressed than I've ever been.  Technically it was "home" - meaning it's where I grew up.  But nothing felt like home, except the love of my parents.  I lost dear, dear friends.  I lost my community.  I lost my time at home with my kiddo.  I lost my desire to wake up in the morning.

Fast forward a year. 

Having moved for the third time in less than 10 months, we live in a beautiful apartment with great neighbors.  Dan is happily settled into his career.  Mahalia is enjoying Kindergarten at our neighborhood public school.  And me . . . I've started new friendships.  I've got a job that fits me amazingly well with a boss who truly appreciates what I bring to the table.  I love waking up every morning & can't wait for each day to start.  I am no longer depressed.  I finally feel like I'm home.  My heart is grateful.

In some ways, nothing is similar to last year - barely even a resemblance.  And yet I'm entirely the same me . . . just happier . . . and a fab new haircut.  

Saturday, July 21, 2012


I played 2 hours of tennis this morning with a fun new group of people (thanks to my new salsa friend Catherine who hooked me up with these folks).

I haven't played tennis since last summer (and then only once).  And prior to that, it's been almost 5 years since I played regularly, so they were very kind to put up with all of my lousy shots.

Pleased to say that I won my service game, and hit a few decent shots.  Though I'm painfully out of practice, I'm looking forward to playing more regularly.

Monday, June 11, 2012


Had coffee with a beautiful new friend this morning & it was wonderful.  I learned so much about her, and she took the time to learn about me too.  She is authentic, easy to talk to, non-judgmental and comfortable with tears. 

Interestingly enough, I learned that her mother's favorite flower was the yellow rose (a symbol of friendship).  She obviously knew how to be a good friend, and I'm grateful, because I'm reaping the benefits.  Can't wait for our next date in a couple of weeks.

Sunday, June 3, 2012


Just finished a 21 day cleanse.  It's been nothing but fruits & veggies all day every day.  OK, so I ate a cupcake once . . . and was SO nauseous.  You can rest assured I regretted cheating!

Boy do I feel great!  It's amazing how much more energy I have & how much better my daily attitude has been.  Lingering depression: gone.  Stomach bloating: gone.  Funky attitude: gone.

SO thankful for fruits & veggies.  I've done it before, but how quickly I forget the benefits of feeling good.

Now the challenge: to keep it up & continue to feel great.

Saturday, June 2, 2012

being known

There are a few unique things about my experience in Chicago so far:
  1. People are QUICK on the horn
  2. Drivers are NUTS (already been rear-ended.  Nope - not hurt.)
  3. Folks like to talk a LOT (mostly monologues)
Regarding #3: it's kinda funny how people here just talk . . . no dialogue.  Just talking.  In fact, had someone over for dinner this week who talked for 3 hours straight.  Tried to redirect a few times to allow others into the conversation, but nope.  Didn't work.

So it's been great having my friend, CyBelle, here.  She is one of the best question-askers I know . . . and she cares (deeply) about the answers.  I've gotten to share so much the last 4 days.  It's been very helpful for my soul to be asked questions & then allowed to share the answers in a safe place.

And then there's the fact that her mantra has been "I just wanna see your world."  How great it's been to have someone want to just come & BE with me!  No agenda other than being together.

Showing off one of her favorite places: Sue the T-Rex at the Field Museum
And finally, she's engaged my kiddo.  Mahalia adores her, because CyBelle sees her, plays with her, talks to her etc.  It's been such a great reminder of the power of presence & the importance of being known.

Sunday, May 20, 2012


Took Mahalia in for her first eye exam.  

The doctor asked me if she had any problems (of course, referring to her eyes), so I said, "No.  No problems at all."  Then Mahalia jumped in & said, "Yes I do, Mom.  Sometimes I'm not a good listener."  I just about died laughing. 

I simply adore her honesty.

Eye Exam

Saturday, May 19, 2012


I've never been accused of being the best mom.  Nope - I don't claim to be the best.  I do the best I can, but I'm no saint.  And I'm certainly not the best mom.

In fact, for Mother's Day, my annual tradition is to spend the majority of the day alone.  It's my day to remember & honor the fact that I am first and foremost a woman, and secondarily a wife & mother.  I spend the day in solitude - doing what I want to do, thinking the thoughts I want to think, and reflecting on my own life.

After a glorious day alone, something hit me.  My kiddo only has three months until Kindergarten.  Which means that in three months, the days of all-day adventures Monday-Friday will be gone.  So I've decided to create as many memories as I can these next three months & enjoy the moments.  

Here are a few moments I've already savored from this week:

Mahalia working on her creation
The final product

Checkin' out the dinos at Field Museum
Enjoying a romp through the park

Playin' with the pooches at the dog beach