Been chewing a question over & over again lately . . . what's the difference between having/exercising good judgment and being judgmental?
I've been witness to a few interesting decisions lately . . . decisions have been made that don't seem (at least from my point of view) to be made with good judgment. In fact - quite the opposite. The decisions made seem to have terrifying outcomes that are almost certainly inevitable. But they've been made, nonetheless. So from that point on, there's no point in being judgmental towards the decision.
So here's my question to you: how do you exercise good judgment without being judgmental? And what's the difference?
For the me I think the difference lies in my ability to treat the person the same even if they made a different decision than the one I would have made. That gets especially difficult in the kind of situation that you're describing with inevitable consequences.
ReplyDeleteWish I had a more profound answer but the truth is I'm still working it out one day at a time :)
Easy-
ReplyDeleteGood judgment is what I have.
Judgmental is what other people are.
Hard-
ReplyDeleteSetup Situation: Person A is about to leap from a bridge to the rocks far below. (could be real or metaphor). Person B comments on the situation back to Person A.
1.Person B: "Dude, that's a bad decision you're going to make. You'll get hurt bad."
or
2.Person B: "Have you considered the possible disasterous consequences of doing this?"
or
3.Person B: "Stop!"
or
4.Person B: "I wouldn't do that if I were you."
or
5.Person B walks along the bridge thinking that her good role model of safety will convince Person A that that is the prefered behavior.
For Person B to be judgemental, Person A needs not only to know Person B disagrees with Person A's decisions, but Person A needs to take offence at the disagreement. Any of the above responses could be viewed as "judgemental", but none of them have to be - it is an evaluation of the soul, not logic.
Surely, one can facilitate offence and enhance the "judgementalism" if there is an extra helping of arrogance involved. For example, Person A jumps and lands perfectly safely - to the total amazement of Person B. Person B would have been "judgemental" because they lacked relevant information or had poor insight into the situation - then tried to imposed their analysis on Person A who was better informed.
In short, graciously allowing people the freedom to make mistakes, believe lies, and hurt themselves should allow one to one to escape this label. One cannot exercise good judgment for another, but only for themselves.
That's the truth. Take it or leave it. :)
Thanks friends . . . good food for thought! (And Chuck - you kill me!)
ReplyDeleteSo here's my other question: I'm not even worried about the other folks thinkin I'm judgmental or acting judgmental towards them. I'm just wondering about the inner workings of the heart. How can I tell the internal difference (in my own heart) between the two???