holding a space

So one of the strangest things about being a "speaker's wife" is that people come up & say the most interesting things to you afterwards . . . random things, funny things, slightly insulting things, kind things - just lots of things. You never know what's comin' next. It could be anything from, "That was interesting", to "You're really pretty" to "How did you meet Dan?" Either way, I never really know how to respond. It's kind of like verbal diarrhea.

Last night, I went to hear Dan speak at a mega church down in the OC. Afterwards (as always happens) people approached me & started talking - just talking (ie. not really interacting - just talking). Now for those of you who know me, I'm not a large group kinda gal. I like coffee with a (meaning 1 or possibly 2) friend - not 300 people ambushing me after an event. So I always get a little twitchy about the whole thing.

One lady in particular stood out. She was obviously kind & a bit timid. But then she began to tell me bits & pieces of her life story. Out of respect for her, I won't share details. But what I can say was that I was shocked that she would tell me (a complete stranger) the things she told me. It started me thinking . . .

I used to feel awkward listening to folks, because I never have anything brilliant to say to them when they talk - I just listen & maybe ask a question or two. But mostly I just listen. Besides, it's Dan who's the "speaker."

But then today, as I was processing it, it occurred to me that one of the things folks need is a safe space to process. It's kinda like holding a space for someone where they can have the room to "get it out." Though it still feels a bit strange to me, I'm hoping that I'll grow in the grace of holding a space.