to compete or not to compete

My business/dance partner asked me this week (again) if I would compete with him. He asked me a year ago when we were watching a competition & I totally blew it off, thinking he wasn't serious. There's a thousand (literally) other prettier, younger, better dancers than me out there.


I've always laughed in the past because performing is totally, "not my thing." I dance because I LOVE to dance. I dance because I need to dance. Though it's fun to have others appreciate the beauty in it, I really do it for myself. So the thought of having others watch and/or judge has always given me the heeby-jeebies.


But then I began to wonder WHY I don't want to perform. I began to wonder what's holding me back. Is it because I've always seen myself as the "really fabulous (but slightly overweight) girl" or is it because my baptist, German, midwestern upbringing would frown upon such a non-noble endeavor? Or is it simply the thought of being in one of those crazy outfits in front of 1,000 people that freaks me out?


Anyhoo - I decided this week, that regardless of whether or not I actually compete, I want to remove any/all excuses. I want to give myself every opportunity to say "yes" in case I one day decide to actually do it. The jury is still out on the performing, but I've decided a few things:

1. I will continue with yoga to improve my form.


2. I will continue on my journey of health to lose a few pounds (& possibly feel more comfortable in one of those crazy outfits :-).


3. I will be able to do the splits by the end of the summer. (I envision myself ending a routine in the splits :-)


4. I will begin to practice like I may one day compete.