beating the shit out

Normally when I used the phrase "beat the shit out" out of something, it's used in a not-so-pleasant kinda way . . . like "I got the shit beat out of me" (aka: got beat up). I conjures up images of bloody stuff that hurts . . . think Kill Bill meets Chuck Norris

Anyhoo - this last week has brought back a few painful memories of the past . . . disappointment with work, tough economy, friendships that turned sour, and other things that all of us agree just aren't all that fun.

But the one thing I've noticed through it all is that pain does one of two things - it embitters/hardens you or it softens you. Though I've gone through my angry phases (don't get it twisted, I'm not about denial), I'm happy to report that I'm coming out softer - kinder, more gentle, and less judgmental. I've kinda felt like a steak that's been "tenderized" - you know how you just keep whacking it (with a big old meat hammer or whatever they call those thingies) until it's really soft & tender - then you throw it in the oven & cook the sucker until it falls apart.

And as I was relaying to a friend how I'm kinda tired of the "tenderizing" phase, I found myself saying (outloud, not just in my head) quote, "I want God to beat the shit out of me . . . literally. I want life to keep coming at me until I am genuinely kind & loving." I don't want to just act kind & do loving things. I want to BE kind & loving . . . the kind of kind that meets criticism with gentleness instead of defensiveness . . .

Anyone else out there getting the shit beat of out them???