One of the main byproducts of being a middle child - with the constant desire for "fairness" - is that, as an adult, I'm very justice-minded. I tend to want things to work out the way the "should." I want systems, countries, businesses & people to get what they deserve - for better or for worse. I want things to go by "the book" . . . or do I really?
Last spring, I was assaulted. Since then, I've seen my assailant multiple times. The first time I saw him, I felt extreme fear & anxiety. After a few more encounters, I wanted him to "get what he had comin" . . . a good beating would work just fine (or so I thought).
But over time, I've realized that any vengeance that could be "done" upon him wouldn't change me & my situation. I realized that even if/when he is "dealt" with, that it wouldn't make me feel different. I could still feel fear or anxiety. But as I was talking to a friend, she reminded me that the best form of justice is living into our greatest joy. The evil in him tried to kill the spirit in me. But my best form of justice is not retribution - it's choosing to live a full and happy life . . . and leaving the vengeance to God.
How many times have I wasted time wishing for retribution, when I could have simply gained my own justice by living a full & joyful life?
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